All these years of traveling and still all the questions remain unanswered. Why am I here? Why do I have the power to kill?

Why do I exist?

“Wake up.”

What? Who’s that? I don’t know who you are, get out of my head. Why are you talking to me?

“Wake up.”

Wake up? From what? I’m not asleep…am I?

“Wake to sleep…and take the waking slow. Then you will know…”

You don’t make any sense Leave me alone

Aidan sat up in his bed abruptly. The same nightmare that had been plaguing him for all these years hadn’t spared him tonight either. He brought his hand to his forehead and kept it there, feeling the sweat seep between his fingers. With his other hand he grabbed the small glass of water he always kept on his nightstand and brought it to his lips. Slowly he drank, letting the cool liquid sooth his nerves.

His sheets were soaked, and he noted with a frown that he’d have to wash them again. It seemed that he had to wash his sheets almost every day, and it was a habit he was getting quite tired of. Sighing quietly, he rose from the bed and gathered the sheets, throwing them into his laundry bag. It was a long walk to the laundromat, almost two miles, and his laundry bag was heavy with dirty clothes. Being a construction worker wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t really a job he enjoyed, but after the events that took place yesterday he doubted he would have to worry about being called in to work.

After eating toast and eggs for breakfast, Aidan went back to his room and put on his only pair of clean clothes left. He shrugged into a black t-shirt and then wrestled on some loose-fitting jeans. His steel-toed black boots were in a heap by the front door, and he went to fetch them, bringing the bag of dirty clothes with him. He tied his shoelaces, threw the laundry bag over his shoulder, and walked out the door.

One of the few times the city seemed beautiful to him was at five in the morning. People weren’t awake yet, and the city seemed to be in a state of hibernation. It was the side of the city that not many people cared to notice, which was fine for him because it was people he wanted to avoid. He thought the glass-laden skyscrapers looked extraordinarily beautiful in the orange glow of sunrise. A gentle smile played across his lips as he walked down the empty streets.

Aidan ran his fingers through his short, dark brown hair as he reflected on yesterday. He was lucky that he wasn’t arrested and thrown in jail for a while. Why did he have such an uncontrollable temper? That man he punched was lucky to still have his jaw attached to his face. Even if the man had been harassing him, it still didn’t give him an excuse to nearly kill the guy. It was a good thing that Aidan’s boss Mike had known that the man had deserved to be put in his place, and it was fortunate that Mike had the strength to prevent Aidan from throwing a second punch.

So now Aidan was out of a job, with no hope of ever getting another construction job again. Hard labor was the only thing he knew how to do, and he felt lost. But he was a drifter anyway, so the feeling didn’t affect him much. It hadn’t been the first time that Aidan had nearly killed a man, but the guilt was still there. That pain was still in his heart, the pain of not understanding himself. And those recurring nightmares did nothing to ease that pain and confusion.

He was almost to the laundromat when he heard steps falling on the pavement behind him. Not acknowledging that he had noticed the person stalking him from behind, Aidan kept a steady pace forward while scanning his surroundings for more people. He didn’t see anyone.

“Aidan?” called the voice from behind. Surprised, Aidan turned around slowly, his eyes resting on the tall figure in front of him.

“Mike?” Aidan almost whispered in surprise. Mike grinned slightly, stuck his hands in his pockets, and walked towards Aidan.

“What are you doing out so early in the morning?” Mike asked, slightly amused.

“I could ask you the same question,” Aidan replied, not sure what to think of Mike just then. There had to have been some reason for Mike to come looking for Aidan, for their chance meeting could not have happened simply by coincidence.

Mike shrugged and took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I just felt like I had to go find you and make sure everything was okay.”

“That’s nice,” Aidan replied in a neutral tone. “Well, I’m fine, but I must be going now.”

“I also had to find you because I wanted to let you know that the cops are hot on your heels. There’s only so much I can hide from them for so long. If you don’t want to get thrown in jail, then I suggest you find a place to lay low for a while,” Mike replied quietly.

Aidan relaxed. Finally, the true meaning behind the visit was out. Without saying a word, Aidan turned back around and began to walk towards the laundromat again.

Mike took another deep breath and then jogged to keep up. “Hey, so this is what I get in return for the news? No thank you or anything?” he said, slightly disgruntled.

Aidan muttered a quiet thank you, feeling slightly chagrined. For some reason he felt like he couldn’t trust Mike, and it confused him. He decided that it was best to trust instinct, since he was old enough and had encountered enough people in his life to get a “gut feeling” for certain people, and so he carefully remained detached from any befriending efforts Mike made. Yet, what he felt in his distrust for Mike was more than instinct, it was almost as if he knew he couldn’t trust the man. Silently he pushed the door open to the 24 hour laundromat and threw his clothes inside the closest washing machines he found, separating light from colored almost mechanically. Mike walked in after him, and then leaned against a dryer, waiting for Aidan to say something, anything, of interest. Aidan, however, had different plans, and was determined to not start the conversation. Mike lost his patience first.

“So, do you have anywhere to hide for a while?” Mike asked, staring at the heap of clothes dwindling as Aidan threw them into the machines.

“There is always someplace to hide. I won’t have trouble finding a spot to hang out for a while,” Aidan replied quietly.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, do you actually have a friend or someone that can put you up for a while? I know you can go find a place under some bridge and live there, but that’s hardly desirable, isn’t it?” Mike answered.

Aidan looked up straight at Mike. Mike knew that Aidan had no real friends, and had no real place to run to, and Aidan found it maddening how Mike seemed to love reminding him of it. “If the homeless can handle it, I can too. We’re all human after all, it’s not like they’d really care if they had an extra neighbor for a while,” Aidan said, his voice reflecting his inner anger at Mike. Although Mike had helped Aidan escape from the cops yesterday, that was one of the few things that Mike had ever done for him out of apparently kindness. And now Aidan was beginning to dismiss the act as a good one, since Mike seemed to have his own intentions for being a “good Samaritan.” What Mike could possible want from him, Aidan didn’t know, but he wasn’t about to accidentally fall victim to Mike’s “good intentions.”

Mike almost laughed, and Aidan narrowed his eyes. Slowly shaking his head, Mike slapped Aidan on the shoulder. “If you ever change your mind, you can always stay with me,” he offered as he slapped Aidan on the shoulder again. Aidan recoiled from the touch. Mike grinned slightly and walked out the door.

Exhaling, Aidan realized that he had been holding his breath the whole time. Why did Mike bother him so much? It was one mystery in a bundle of mysteries, and none of them seemed to have an answer. Walking to the door to make sure that Mike had left, Aidan breathed a sigh of relief when the streets held no evidence that the man was there. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then decided that he should at least finish his laundry before he went looking for a new, temporary home. There was no reason for him to look like a slob, even if he was going to be living in a less than luxurious place for a while.

Writing assignment 1998